A Post-Game Halloween Article from the Desk of Scot Fovel:
Note: Per instructions from Mr. Fovel, this email should be read in the voice of Robert DeNiro. Please take a moment to properly install your inner DeNiro voice. Ready? Ok, here we go:
Alright, so it’s 10pm on Halloween. I’m fresh out of class and it’s Catfish’s 27th birthday (for those of you don’t already know…our drummer Dan Ober’s nick name is “Catfish”). So I says to myself, I says, “ya know what?? I’m gonna do something nice for the little guy and make him a pumpkin pie”. After nearly destroying 2 – 3 tiny children dressed in costumes (what the fuck are they walking on the streets at 10pm for??) in my awesome truck, I finally make it over to Stop & Shop to buy some ingredients.
What do I find out? No pumpkins! It’s now 10:30pm and I find myself talking to the Stop & Shop produce manager about the ins and outs of pumpkin import/export processes. I learn it’s been a rough year for pumpkins. “Can’t find those sweet pie pumpkins anywhere”, he tells me. I keep thinking…poor Danny. But, as many of you know …once I get thinking that I want something…I am determined to get it. Let me ask you a question, have you ever tried to find weed and can’t find it and then feen out? I do that all the time.
So anyways, I make a couple of phone calls and call my pumpkin guy who works on a farm in the suburbs (that’s right I have a pumpkin guy). He says to me, he says “those pie pumpkins are tough to get but are some dank shit”. I says to him, “Yah? You holding?”. He says “Yeah I got you.” I asks “You deliver?” He says, “Yah I deliver.” So this dude drives an hour to sell me a pie pumpkin through the black market. Needless, to say I don’t start making this pie until 11:59pm (still his birthday). I figure if I start baking before midnight, it counts.
Around 1:30am, ChillSet is now sitting around the kitchen table drunk as shit in the name of all catfishes everywhere eating delicious pumpkin pie made from scratch. Thanks pumpkin guy.